34 So here it is: a fragment from the play I wrote in 24 hours. Well...I didn't get the reading but I'm very, very proud of my latest play and the fact that I could meet the deadline. The play that I wrote in that same contest two years ago is posted on my blog (the whole play) and I felt that was a huge mistake so I'm not going to do that again but it is too abstract so I don't really know what to do with it but it would be awesome to find something to do with it. That's a struggle I go through a lot, the whole not knowing what the hell to do with my work because it can't seem to find a proper home thing but I just keep looking and trying. The bad day is the only play that found a proper and satisfactory home. So here it is folks: scene 1 of Ernie, the play I wrote in 24 hours. Sorry, I won't be posting the rest of the play but, if things turn out okay and I figure out a way to do something with this play that is when the rest of the play will make an appearance.
Scene 1: A magazine journalist and Ernie B. White are sitting in comfortable chairs. The magazine journalist is preparing to interview Ernie with a pen, notebook, and tape recorder in hand. Magazine journalist (talking into tape recorder): Hello, I’m Mary-Lou Anderson reporting for the arts section of the Toronto News. I’m here with Ernie B. White, the author of the best-selling short stories anthology, The Restaurant Stories. Ernie: Is that Lou as in “L-O-U” or Lou as in “L-O-O”? If it’s spelt “L-O-O” you must have been teased quite a bit as a child. You want to know why? Loo (as in “L-O-O”) means the bathroom in England. Magazine journalist: “L-O-U” you idiot, I mean...um Mr White. Let’s move on to your story. Ernie: Please call me, Ernie; I’ve had enough of formalities. Magazine journalist: Okay Ernie, first question. Ernie: Ask away... Magazine journalist: As I was about to say: What gave you the idea for The Restaurant Stories? Ernie: I hope you have no other questions because you are in for a lengthy answer. Magazine journalist: Just answer my question, Ernie. The length of your answer doesn’t matter much. Only thing it does is give me less to do because I no longer have to provoke answers. I just sit back, listen, and quote things that you say. In other words one part of my job becomes unnecessary. Ernie: Wonderful, I love making the jobs of others significantly easier. Magazine journalist: Just answer my question! If you don’t you aren’t really making things easy, you’re making them extremely difficult! Ernie: My apologies, I’ll answer your question. I just sort of...want to know your story as much as you want to know mine. Magazine journalist: This interview is all about you, so I’m afraid that’s impossible. Ernie: That’s too bad. Okay, I’ll give you an answer. Just give me one moment to collect my thoughts. I have quite a bit to say. Magazine journalist: Do you want me to turn off the tape recorder and give you a minute? Ernie: That would be lovely. Magazine journalist: Ernie B. White is collecting his thoughts. The interview will resume in one moment. (Turns off tape recorder) Ernie: Simply extraordinary: Ms. Anderson, you really are a good journalist. Magazine journalist: Oh...um...thanks.