34 For the first time in a while I tried to sit down and write, it's not that I didn't want to or I felt discouraged I just blame well...everyday life and things. It was wonderful in a way, sort of...tranquilly calm but, after sitting down in front of my computer I couldn't help but think of the writing montage on last night's episode of Bag Of Bones because that is nothing but a fantasy and, if it was that easy everyone in the entire universe would be writing books. I sat there laughing my ass off throughout the whole thing because of how fake and ridiculous it is. For those of you who haven't seen the extremely ridiculous Bag Of Bones montage I will summarize it for you. My memory of it is perfect because I accidentally got the opportunity to see it not once but twice. Micheal Numan (the writer character) sits down, opens his word processor, has zero inspiration and then stares at photos of his recently deceased wife and then... bam! The writing begins. Moments later he opens up a photo of his wife and then the cheesy inspiration music begins and then the entire thing becomes that Rocky training sequence if the focus shifted from a boxer to a writer attempting to write a book. The number of pages he has written keeps on going up and ever so often we see him taking breaks by drinking glasses of alcoholic beverages, playing the ukulele, and taking his work out on his porch of his house that shows signs of him being filthy rich. The sequence of events I just mentioned continue until the inspiration Rocky theme for writers ends and he exclaims: "holy shit, 26 pages, I am good" , kisses his computer screen, and thanks a picture of his dead wife. Why is this montage ridiculous?:
#1: most writers aren't millionaires unless they are the Stephanie Myer and J.K Rowling types of this world
#2: I have learned to view the whole easy muse thing as a myth and if inspiration was that easy I think I would be bored by my writerly path because it would no longer be a journey that is much deeper than something caused by surface muses but, a path a lot like those ghost mediums that we have all heard about or seen on tv. I didn't used to think this but now I do: inspiration is about pursuing ideas and taking them a step further not relying on muses as metaphorical spirit guides. I once wrote a play about muses but, my whole point was to make the place as a starting place for ideas not the one and only source. The creative journey is a metaphorical, long distance travel and a bumpy road. No matter how attached we get to these muses we have to acknowledge them and find ways to move on from them and detach the work from that being so that we can move on and continue the creative journey. I hate the whole idea of easy inspiration and refuse to call "writer's block" by its common name because it is a ridiculous,made-up condition filled with excuses the better words are "at the moment I can't write (fill in the type of project here) because.... (fill in reason here). We have to acknowledge these reasons and overcome them otherwise we will forever be relying on a muse to make ideas metaphorically fall from the sky which creates way too many boarders.
Today I found myself resorting back to the voice of my younger self back when I was in my early teens and just starting to write fiction outside of school and I couldn't bare it so, I stopped writing, closed the document without saving, and muttered about how much I thought it sucked under my breath. I started with a line, did some free-writing after thinking of an image and now, thanks to my doubts that first person, potential story is gone forever. In other words, I wasn't exactly pulling a Micheal Numan. Those are moments when editing a first draft is just as good but, you know you have to stop when your being your own critic therefore you cannot continue. I may not of written something new but, I edited something I haven't looked at in a while that was metaphorically starting to grow mold but, then I shaved off the mold and made it new again. When you can take something old and make it new again that is an equal amount of accomplishment those of you who haven't tested this theory try it, it is one of those unspeakably wonderful life moments and it requires a great deal of creativity.
I learned something today that I always took for granted: thinking is (sometimes) a beautiful thing. I don't care how full of sentimental garbage I sound, because it's true.